revelation. September 6, 2009

the only thing wrong with my life is the other people in it.

that is, of course, the point of other people, right? to make you hate breathing. to put you in situations you hoped you’d never be in, make you act like someone you always tried to avoid acting like.

the jig is up, “other people”. i’m on to you. i am hot on your trail. and once i catch up, i’m gonna scream out a big ole FUCK YOU and walk in the other direction.

why fight this July 15, 2009

I’m feelin all kinds of off today, and I haven’t even been awake that long.

So I’m finally caught up on my True Blood. Don’t you hate when you know something, or think you know it, but have nobody to tell about it, and then it becomes so obvious so it’s like you didn’t even know something that special to begin with? This is so self indulgent… but let me explain. I suspected Marianne’s character of having at least connections to Circe from The Odyssey. Anyone I tried to talk about it to had no clue who Circe was, which rendered my bragging pretty pointless. And in the later episodes she has to go and ruin my fun by making it TOO obvious (hanging out with pigs). Does this make sense? Basically, I knew it!! Pretty early. And I felt all cool for knowing it. And then it became DUH OF COURSE to everyone and I’m not so cool anymore

Also, I watched the first episode of the new season of Weeds, and my GOD. What happened? I wrote about this on Netflix and 5 people voted me unhelpful lol. But it was really awkward, all the way through! The way things happened .. for instance, when she was in her kitchen and her boys were horsing around, what does she do to stop them? She grabs a pan that she just pulled out of the oven and burns herself. Not meaning to of course. And obviously this is stupid, but these things happen in the heat of the moment. (har har!), but the way that this happened was just SOO AWKWARD. And that dance sequence towards the end? Misplaced and utterly unnecessary. Things seemed forced all the way through. Sadly, I think the storyline has just played itself out. I find myself thinking GET A REAL JOB, NANCY BOTWIN. What kind of a mother … I mean it was all fun and games at first, but now it’s just TIRED! Hopefully the season will redeem itself for me.

I’ve been having weird dreams lately.

I can’t wait to go home. It’ll be nice to have people to be able to talk to about real things. Life things. I’ve been holed up like a hermit here. I need to explore more.

I don’t feel like writing anymore. Guess I’ll review my movies later.

part II April 8, 2009

Me again. Here is a non emotional post. Cue drum roll. I’m going to REVIEW stuff!! Woot woooo. 

 

Recently Watched Movies: 

The Good

• Forgetting Sarah Marshall - Thoroughly enjoyable, though I did not have high expectations because I was not a huge fan of Knocked Up and they seemed very similar. But FSM was worth a watch, completely. Jason Segel has such a warm place in my cold little heart. There’s no way you can’t love that guy. Huge, adorable giant.
• Zack & Miri Make A Porno – Quite enjoyable as well! And I never thought I’d like it, especially because Seth Rogen was in the lead, and I for one do not believe he can carry an entire film. Great supporting actor, lackluster lead, in my opinion. But this was a pleasant surprise, and worth a watch. Gave me some good laughs. Also, sort of touching in an awkward way. It’s like.. awww!! Sometimes sex does mean something! I’m not a hopeless romantic after all! It seems the common belief held amongst our peers these days is that frequent, mindless, impersonal sex is the normal, and only, way to live.
• Religulous - It was pretty interesting, worth a watch. You kind of have to take some things with a grain of salt, but for the most part I found it to be a pretty good assessment about religion, backing my cynicism towards the whole thing. I’ve got nothing against religion, but I do have bones to pick with the people that try to interpret things to suit their own personal belief system, which is “What is going to benefit me the most?” 

The Bad

• Twilight – Please don’t waste your time. I did read the books and they were somewhat of a guilty pleasure, though I despised the main character for her incessant, downright pathetic-ness. Honestly, I have never read anything written by a woman that painted women as these weak, feeble, helpless beings. And I use the term “women” loosely. But the movie was absolutely vomit-inducing. Play-by-play? *pout* *swoon* *cool vampire stuff* *swoon swoon* *inner monologue* *pout* *swoon swoon*. 
• Sex Drive – Don’t waste your time part 2. 

The Ugly

• College - Okay, let’s get one thing straight. I never would have watched this if I wasn’t desperate to find something to watch that wasn’t so serious. I knew I was asking for something mindless, that’s what I wanted. But this took the cake. Honestly. I don’t think I even got halfway through it. What is wrong with these script writers? Where the hell is teenage life like what they portray in these flicks? I must’ve missed out. P.S. the actor that played the fat kid IS SO TRYING TO BE THE NEW JONAH HILL. Dude, seriously. I don’t even like Jonah Hill, but what a knock off. And how quickly Hollywood tried to fill the nonexistent void! We already have this decade’s “fat, crude friend” actor! Come on, man. 
• Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist – Another one I couldn’t sit through. Let me be quite frank. I love Michael Cera. I love his awkward charm. The unsure-of-myself thing always gets me! Plus I’m a huge fan of Arrested Development. HOWEVER. This is the most pretentious teen romcom one could possibly imagine. It’s quite offensive, even. I don’t even know if I can properly put into words what I mean by this. But … it’s the cinematic epitome of the stupidity of this whole “indie music” movement. I do NOT think indie music is at all dumb, and that movie actually had a great soundtrack. I do, however, think it’s ridiculous when people (in real life) wear what they listen to on their sleeves. I’m not referencing band merch or whatever. But what you listen to has become a sort of status symbol. And honestly, these days people are just looking for the most obscure shit, being completely separated from whether or not the music is actually GOOD, and caring only about whether it’ll gain them street cred for discovering a strange new band. Somehow, when these kids find said “music”, their noses automatically point high in the sky, and they look down at all the “uninformed” and “utterly typical” folk that somehow everyone else is. I know I’m going off on a tangent here, but honestly, this movie is about how STRICTLY AWESOME you are if you are like aforementioned character. Give me a fucking break.

 

Television: 

• How I Met Your Mother - This is obviously not a new series, but it’s new to me so I shall review it anyway. Surprisingly a really good, well-written show! I didn’t think I’d like it (I wasn’t into Friends or any knock offs), but I for sure do. Jason Segel AND Alyson Hannigan AND Neil Patrick Harris? Awesome. Plus they always use wordplay jokes which, in my humble opinion, are far superior to most other kinds! 
• Trust Me - Eh. I watch it in case it’s any real look into what the advertising industry is like. But as for content, bland. I really like both actors, too. But the script is just… flat. 

I should put in a music spot here, but I haven’t listened to anything new. Once I get my hands on a more recent album of sorts, you have my word: I will review it! *Super hero music*

nail biting. January 28, 2009

Why can’t I stop? It must end!! My poor cuticles are cracking and hurty and it needs to go away! Damn my oral fixation!

In other news, my tiny little self is all moved in and settled in my tiny little apartment in my tiny little city. Fresh starts are so good for the soul. You’d think I’d be out partying and roaming around and meeting new people. But I don’t really feel like it. Maybe it’s too cold. Maybe I’m too boring. It’s probably the latter. But it’s totally fine by me; I’ve got my nice big comfy bed to make me happy in the pants. 

I’ve recently become obsessed with grocery shopping. I really don’t know why. It’s something I can do all by my lonesome without feeling like I’m the last god damned (single) person on earth. Sometimes I even buy things in 2’s so that the cashier doesn’t feel bad for me. For instance, if I buy a little bottle of chocolate milk.. I add another to the cart so it’s not so fucking pathetic. 

And since I’m apparently an insomniac for this night alone, I have spent time planning out this week’s meals. Ravioli, chicken parm, tacos, chicken stir-fry with rice. I have no clue why I’m clueing you in on my food choices. But do with it what you will. 

I think I’ll blog more now that I have so much free time. Yeah, yeah, I’ve said it plenty before. But I really am fucking bored these days! I desperately need to find myself a job, lest I fall in with the worthless ingrates that make up 2/3 of the population. Or “poop”ulation, as my subconscious mind would have me type. 

 

There I go, picking at my cuticles again.

Night.

satan’s fruit. January 14, 2009

Strawberries… They just don’t make sense. Every fruit I know of houses their seeds inside. Not only is that method more practical, it’s also just a matter of class. Strawberries are the sluts of the fruit world. They are literally naked, showcasing all their reproductive goods on their exterior for all the world to see. How tacky is that? I refuse to consume a food substance that so freely takes part in such debauchery. 

 

But even further than their apparent slutbaggery, what is the POINT of exterior seeds? What other fruits’ seeds do we normal people consume? None. Not apples’, not oranges’, not peaches’, watermelons’… in fact, “seedless” is regarded as a positive, and a luxury, amongst the produce aisles at your local grocery. Why on EARTH do we eat strawberry seeds!!! Why did our mothers never warn us to not swallow those little buggers, for they shall grow into a strawberry plant right inside our little tummies? Our parents did us a severe disservice in neglecting to address this horrific danger. And we trusted them.

 

I rose above this injustice. I refuse to eat those assholes. Aside from when they practice their whorish trickery and mask their true identity within the confines of those delicious chocolate shells.