Strawberries… They just don’t make sense. Every fruit I know of houses their seeds inside. Not only is that method more practical, it’s also just a matter of class. Strawberries are the sluts of the fruit world. They are literally naked, showcasing all their reproductive goods on their exterior for all the world to see. How tacky is that? I refuse to consume a food substance that so freely takes part in such debauchery.
But even further than their apparent slutbaggery, what is the POINT of exterior seeds? What other fruits’ seeds do we normal people consume? None. Not apples’, not oranges’, not peaches’, watermelons’… in fact, “seedless” is regarded as a positive, and a luxury, amongst the produce aisles at your local grocery. Why on EARTH do we eat strawberry seeds!!! Why did our mothers never warn us to not swallow those little buggers, for they shall grow into a strawberry plant right inside our little tummies? Our parents did us a severe disservice in neglecting to address this horrific danger. And we trusted them.
I rose above this injustice. I refuse to eat those assholes. Aside from when they practice their whorish trickery and mask their true identity within the confines of those delicious chocolate shells.
