blog city.

nail biting.

krista — Wed, 28 Jan 2009 11:15:13 +0000

Why can’t I stop? It must end!! My poor cuticles are cracking and hurty and it needs to go away! Damn my oral fixation!

In other news, my tiny little self is all moved in and settled in my tiny little apartment in my tiny little city. Fresh starts are so good for the soul. You’d think I’d be out partying and roaming around and meeting new people. But I don’t really feel like it. Maybe it’s too cold. Maybe I’m too boring. It’s probably the latter. But it’s totally fine by me; I’ve got my nice big comfy bed to make me happy in the pants.

I’ve recently become obsessed with grocery shopping. I really don’t know why. It’s something I can do all by my lonesome without feeling like I’m the last god damned (single) person on earth. Sometimes I even buy things in 2′s so that the cashier doesn’t feel bad for me. For instance, if I buy a little bottle of chocolate milk.. I add another to the cart so it’s not so fucking pathetic.

And since I’m apparently an insomniac for this night alone, I have spent time planning out this week’s meals. Ravioli, chicken parm, tacos, chicken stir-fry with rice. I have no clue why I’m clueing you in on my food choices. But do with it what you will.

I think I’ll blog more now that I have so much free time. Yeah, yeah, I’ve said it plenty before. But I really am fucking bored these days! I desperately need to find myself a job, lest I fall in with the worthless ingrates that make up 2/3 of the population. Or “poop”ulation, as my subconscious mind would have me type.

There I go, picking at my cuticles again.

Night.

satan’s fruit.

krista — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 20:39:02 +0000

Strawberries… They just don’t make sense. Every fruit I know of houses their seeds inside. Not only is that method more practical, it’s also just a matter of class. Strawberries are the sluts of the fruit world. They are literally naked, showcasing all their reproductive goods on their exterior for all the world to see. How tacky is that? I refuse to consume a food substance that so freely takes part in such debauchery.

But even further than their apparent slutbaggery, what is the POINT of exterior seeds? What other fruits’ seeds do we normal people consume? None. Not apples’, not oranges’, not peaches’, watermelons’… in fact, “seedless” is regarded as a positive, and a luxury, amongst the produce aisles at your local grocery. Why on EARTH do we eat strawberry seeds!!! Why did our mothers never warn us to not swallow those little buggers, for they shall grow into a strawberry plant right inside our little tummies? Our parents did us a severe disservice in neglecting to address this horrific danger. And we trusted them.

I rose above this injustice. I refuse to eat those assholes. Aside from when they practice their whorish trickery and mask their true identity within the confines of those delicious chocolate shells.

stagnant.

krista — Wed, 20 Aug 2008 04:45:02 +0000

Lack of entries means lack of interest in my own life.

NOTHING. HAPPENS. TO. ME.

I guess we could go on the theory that things don’t happen to people, but that people make things happen. But honestly, who has the energy? It’s exhausting enough to lead an uninteresting life. Or maybe I’m just fucking lazy.
Either way, nothing substantial to report on. And every time the version of me that walks around in my mind stumbles upon a solid thought, I always forget what the thought was before I can blog about it. I could be making dangerously witty insights about the human condition, and nobody will ever know!

I will soon write my opinions of some of the books I’ve been reading and movies I’ve recently checked out. Yeah. That should do it.

(The real reason I’m speechless is probably because most of my thoughts have strayed into FEELINGS OF LOVE TOWARD WORK GUY. I AM ENAMORED. I’VE FORGOTTEN WHAT THIS FEELS LIKE, AND IT’S NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE INSTEAD OF SOMETHING (or idea) TAKE UP YOUR BRAIN POWER.)

sidelines

krista — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 04:29:19 +0000

A couple days ago I decided I should watch more music videos, and chose to view Modest Mouse’s Little Motel for the first time. I have not stopped thinking about it since. It is quite possibly the saddest and most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Since then, I’ve rewatched it two times, and have cried like a baby all three. And what makes me more sad than anything was that I don’t cry about anything that goes on in my physical, personal life. I can’t remember the last time I had a good cry. It took a depressing video about a child dying and his mother dealing with it in her own way to get any sort of emotion out of me. And that’s sad. I’ve become cold and emotionless, and I’ve consciously made myself this way. I don’t let anyone near enough to my heart to hurt me. But pain is what makes us feel alive. Pain is what makes us real and human. And why am I cutting it out of my life? It’s not better to be a barren slab of flesh. I’m missing out on the bittersweet beauty of raw emotion, be it heartbreak, disappointment, longing, or anything on the sunnier end of the spectrum.

I’m wasting my being. I saw an ad today that said “Life is not a spectator sport”. It’s time for me to get off the bench and jump in the game.

Happy viewing.

weathery perfection & mindless music

krista — Mon, 26 May 2008 07:34:48 +0000

I’ve been slightly slacking on my blogging lately. The weather’s just been beautiful, and it’s a pity to sit at home in the dark and type, instead of soak up every breathe of fresh outdoor happiness. Today I went driving aimlessly, picked up a buddy, went to the park for some baseball and basketball, drove around some more, BBQed at said buddy’s place, and then took a nice stroll around the neighborhood, which ended in spending some time sitting on buddy’s stoop. Yes. We sit on stoops in Brooklyn. The weather was absolutely perfect. Warm, sunny, clear skies, but not humid, and a little breezy at night. Bliss is the only way to describe it, really. Pure bliss.

In other news, I’d like to talk for a while about the sad state of the music industry. I won’t say there’s a lack of legitimately excellent musicians. What I will say, however, is that there is an influx of talentless, soulless, faux-musicians. I’m talking about guys that starts bands just for the perks; to be able to say “I’m in a fucking rock band!”, and/or to get the (illegally young) girls, and/or to make cash and live the life that everyone wants to live. I won’t name names. But I’m mostly talking about the trend of dancy powerpop. I’m all for dancing. I love dancing. In the shower especially. And I love music that makes me want to shake my butt (and awkwardly look for some sort of fitting hand/arm movement). But dancy powerpop that is being made popular by weak bands… it just gets under my skin. Music can make you wanna dance, but still be substantial. The majority of what’s out there is not. It’s completely unoriginal, uncreative, and you can see right through the layers of fluff to the truth that IT’S COMPRISED OF BUBBLE GUM MELODIES COVERING UP THE FACT THAT THERE’S A HUGE VOID IN THE MIDDLE. There’s no soul, there’s no heart anymore. It’s just a mosh up of funky beats put together with absolutely no passion, and only made in the first place so that these beats get stuck in your head and you buy the band’s flimsy record and pay for their hair dye and green tea.

Though I’ve only got a measly twenty years under my belt, which makes about … maybe 17 of coherence, I’m pretty positive that this has gone on with music for decades. I’m not expecting to like everything. That’s not my issue. What my issue is, is that I at least expect musicians to want to gain my respect. Put forth something that you poured yourself into. Show me something that I can see YOU in. Don’t pass off some bullshit power mix with no meat as music. That’s not music, that’s not art. That’s the pretty but stupid girl at school that all the boys wanted to be with, WERE with, and then realized that beneath the appealing surface there was nothing there.

Music should evoke some sort of emotion within listeners. It should stir up something, anything. The worst thing for a song to do is make someone indifferent towards it. To feel it’s mediocre. It’s better to completely hate something than to be like “This isn’t even good enough for me to formulate an opinion on”. I love songs that make me think, I’m a huge lyric person, I love analyzing, ripping apart, whatever. But I also love music that I don’t need to think about. Men, Women & Children make me wanna DANCE! They are awesome. And they’re not trying to be something they’re not. They know what they want to do, and they GO for it. And even though there’s nothing really deep there (that I’ve found yet, at least), they are a legitimate band that I enjoy listening to and have tons of respect for. MW&C is completely different from the majority of shit that I’m addressing in this blog. What I’m saying is, basically, go big or go home, and make music for the right reasons. Make music because it’s what keeps you alive. Don’t decide one day, let’s be in a band, put together some crap melodies, pass em off as dance music, and be proud of it. DON’T be proud of just coasting through the music scene. That’s a disgrace.

With that all being said, I appreciate that everyone has different opinions on what’s good and what isn’t. What I’m saying is, as a lover of music, you should consider which bands you support. Look past the crap and the bullshit and see music for what it really is. And this especially goes to teenage girls who look for as many bands as they can to be friends with on Myspace, and Sharpie their bodies with, and who’s the cutest guy in the band that they can hook up with after the show. That’s NOT what music is about. And you’d be way cooler if you went against the pack and actually listened to decent musicians. Know your stuff. Be open to genres you wouldn’t normally listen to. And make decisions on your own, not based on which band you think knowing will make you the coolest amongst your peers, whose opinions most likely suck.

Grr. It just disappoints me is all. End rant.

Cheers. Kind of.

Into The Wild afterthoughts

krista — Sat, 24 May 2008 06:53:43 +0000

I was planning on blogging normally tonight, with a little bit of this and a little bit of that, but I just finished watching Into The Wild, and it blew my mind, and that’s really the only thing that seems to be important at the moment. It was incredible. I find myself questioning my own opinion, is it REALLY that great of a movie, Krista? But I guess what makes movies important to me are the reactions that they get out of me, what thoughts are conjured up inside my cloudy mind while viewing, and how it vibrates into my soul. Into The Wild was mind-blowing, in that sense. I love the idea. To be completely free, COMPLETELY. And just an individual. A tiny, tiny, microscopic individual in the great mass that is this earth, and at the same time, be so grand. To worry only about yourself, and to be able to take in every single spec of beauty that’s floating around amidst the chaotic mess we know as civilization. It’s insane, and in such a good way. To think that it’s actually in our roots to be living off the land. Fuck material things. Fuck classifications, fuck technology. Fuck every single thing we as humans had to make up words for. And just go back to our roots, to be one with nature, and to experience the mental and physical revelation that maybe nothing we have been working towards as a society matters. Maybe there’s something bigger that we’re all overlooking. But it’s an individual thing. I would love to be completely alone, and to fend for myself, and to feel like a human fucking being, living the way that we maybe were meant to be living.

The reality is, I hate bugs, I would never be able to kill the food I was about to eat, and I’m a New York City bitch. But I would LOVE. I would love to be able to not care and to let the invisible forces work their magic on me. And I’m curious as to how far I would actually be able to go, if I took the first step. If my life depended on it, would I be able to fend for myself? It is WILD. It’s a wild, wild thought. And this seems so important to me right now. But it goes further than the fact that I just saw it handled in a movie. Way further than that. I always think that there has to be something more, you know? There has to be something greater than school and work and marriage. Why is our ultimate goal in life to have a good job, get married, buy a house, and have kids? That can’t be the only thing out there for us. Sure, it’s great, and it’s important. But life can’t end after that. It just can’t. Why do our lifelong goals not deal with us growing as individuals? Why are they always about acquiring things? I’m talking about taking journeys in your thoughts. I know most people would compare that to religion, but I’m not talking religion. More spirituality. More you, as a tiny little person, fitting into this enormous mass we call the universe, your role in it. Further, if you were the only person for miles and miles and miles, how would you make yourself happy? Can you only be defined by the people you surround yourself with? Can you sit down and appreciate beauty, real beauty, and focus solely on the incredible environment around you? Without worrying about how you’re going to pay this month’s cell phone bill, or what time you have to be up for work tomorrow? Is your mind free. I think that’s what I’m trying to get at. Are you content with the things you think about, and the thoughts you think about them.

I can’t even .. I don’t even know what I’m trying to say right now. And maybe there are no words in the human language that describe this. Because I’m talking about feeling. Pure and unadulterated feeling. And some feelings are too good to be described, and naming them would take away the wave of unbelievable euphoria that crashes over us once we feel and once we know. But this is what a good movie does to me.

weezer & less important things.

krista — Thu, 22 May 2008 06:36:05 +0000

It’s to my understanding that the first eight songs off of Weezer‘s Red Album are streaming (illegally) somewhere, but the link unfortunately did not work for me, so all I have to go on for this next (small) section about it are the three singles they released. I haven’t listened to them as much as I should have before making a judgment, but my stance on them as of now is that I am RELIEVED! I knew there was a slight chance at major suckage, because that seems to be happening lately with bands that should be impressing us. I won’t name names. Out of the three singles, Troublemaker is probably my least favorite, but it’s not bad. I love Pork and Beans, it could have easily been on The Green Album, and The Greatest Man That Ever Lived is an eargasm lately. So reminiscent of Queen, a la Bohemian Rhapsody. I AM IN NO WAY SAYING that they’re the same song, or Weezer was trying to emulate Queen, or one song is better than the other. I’m simply stating that there are similarities, mostly because of the structure, and how there’s a little taste of everything in both songs. And that’s the point. With my obvious love for TGMTEL, (I’m not an acronym person, but it’s just too long a title to keep typing), I should clarify my hesitations with the song. For instance, the rapping in the beginning threw me off. It seems a little awkward, though not horrible. And it’s not completely surprising, as Rivers often semi-raps. And the speaking part at around 4:09 … well, the rhyming seems a little forced, but it’s quirky, and that’s part of Weezer‘s charm. To offset that negativity, I will say that my favorite part of the song is 1:25, “I’m gonna tear down the wall” through “after the havoc that I’m gonna wreak“, through to “oh baby, I’ve been told that I’m goin crazy“. That’s pretty lengthy to be about one song. But that’s me. And if I’ve offended you and your opinions in any way, I apologize. All that up there is just what I think. If you disagree .. we can talk about it in a civilized manner.

In other news, surprise, surprise, I get better and better with the more and more time I put into practicing guitar. There are three doubles in that sentence! That has to be a record. Anyway. I’m currently learning Everlong by the Foo Fighters. I had no idea that song was as cliched as it is. I didn’t know it was so popular. I’ve never been into radio, I kinda just listen to things on my own, so I never know what’s actually hot at the moment (I know the song’s like ten years old, I’m just making a general statement about radio). In addition, I’ve pretty much got Autographs & Apologies by Motion City Soundtrack down, and you should all know my love for the band and that particular song. I’d love to learn Mosquito Song by Queens of the Stone Age, but that did not go so well today, as I couldn’t get my guitar properly tuned. It was being a bit moody.

The R.E.M / Modest Mouse / The National concert is coming up, and I am STOKED about that. The price tag is on the heftier side, but I strongly suggest that you go to that show, no matter who you are. REM AND MODEST MOUSE. UNDER ONE ROOF. Just sayin. I’ll also be taking my younger sister to a Mindless Self Indulgence show this summer as her birthday present. For a 16 year old, she’s got pretty solid taste in music. She’s into NIN, MSI, QotSA, and other, weirder stuff. We’ve (as in I’ve, cause my parents aren’t big music people) raised her right, it seems.

I still haven’t gotten around to the watercolor that I’ve been meaning to mess with. And I eventually want to upload some of my pieces from throughout the years to deviantart. I don’t know if I’m up for being judged quite yet haha.

My sleep schedule has been quite fucked up as of late. I can’t seem to fall asleep before 5am, which causes me to wake up at a ridiculous hour (we’re talking 2pm here). And the viscous cycle continues. It’s 2:30 now, maybe I’ll try in a bit.

That’s all for now.

Cheers!

adschool/bestbuy/guitarpro

krista — Wed, 21 May 2008 05:08:11 +0000

So I actually was a bit productive today, and got some of the things done that I wanted to. Which basically means practicing guitar, but I did so wholeheartedly! I also did some more research about which school to attend. Right now it’s between Brainco in Minneapolis, which I seem to be leaning more towards, and Creative Circus in Atlanta. Atlanta’s closer, but Minneapolis seems more appealing to me. Which reminds me; I got a mailing from Miami Ad School, who also has an office in Minneapolis, and one of their application requirements is to show a bank statement proving you’ve got at least $32,000 in an account. The audacity! That takes balls, to request that of someone. I understand it’s a revered school and it is not at all cheap, but I just found it extremely rude to not even consider people that don’t have that sizeable a savings account. It may be a misunderstanding on my part, but seeing what I saw is ridiculous.

In other news, I’ve got to drag my lazy ass to the gym tomorrow. It’s a must. My membership is completely going to waste. I’ve had basically no time during the school year to make it out there, at least in the latter months, and this month I’ve just been relaxing. Maybe if I fall asleep at a reasonable hour, I’ll be able to wake up at a reasonable hour tomorrow morning to actually make something of my life. What’s on the agenda, you ask? Well, the gym, showering, making copies of my identification to submit to Scholastic for my internship, practicing guitar again, making some headway on my watercolor experiment, calling up a different driving school as the one I had originally intended to attend (that’s a mouthful) didn’t pan out as planned. I did practice driving today though and I must say I’m pretty excellent, except as a female I cannot seem to grasp the concept of parallel parking. Damn New York and it’s parking style! But yeah, parking’s DEFINITELY going to be the biggest issue for me. K-turns? Piece of cake. Hopefully I will soon be hit with the power of parking, and all will be well. I really need my license already. I’ve waited so long, I think my permit expires next year!

I can’t remember if I mentioned this previously, but I’m in the market for either an iPod Touch or a new camera, either digital SLR or plain old SLR. I’d wet my pants with excitement over an SLR, but I don’t have access to a free darkroom like I did in high school, so to take pictures and continuously develop them would be an ongoing fee which I don’t know I’m ready for. I went to Best Buy last night to check out the iPod Touch, and am a little unhappy with the experience. I’ve got a bone to pick with Best Buy. So far, anyone I’ve met that’s worked there is great, but I was trying to play around with the iPod, and it was bolted down inside a glass case. Fine, I get it, you don’t want people stealing them. But there are plenty of drawers underneath, locked and thief-proof. Why can’t they have a couple of open tester products in there for genuinely interested consumers? Obviously if you can only access them by asking for an employee to open the drawer, you’re not going to be stealing it. It’s absurd to think that people are willing to toss so much cash out on something they can’t even hold beforehand. Though I’m sure plenty of people do it. I just found it inane, and that’s my gripe with Best Buy. On the other hand, the two employees that were helping me out with computer-related issues were very friendly and knowledgeable, which made the experience a little better. Kudos to the Geek Squad.

I’ve been using Guitar Pro 5 to help me out with my playing, and it’s proved to be pretty useful. It’s too early to criticize yet, but I have found one small issue – the playback. It sounds like a robot instrument. Which I understand, because that’s basically what it is. It’s the equivalent of those computerized vocals offered on PCs. But it’s just awkward to be hearing a guitar sound like a machine. It’s no big deal though. I’ve no problems with the rest of the program yet. (It sometimes freezes my poor little Mac, but it’s too early to say if the program is, in fact, the problem.)

Okie doke, that’s a wrap for now.

Cheers!

you need spine.

krista — Tue, 20 May 2008 06:04:56 +0000

I wish I had a way with words. Sure I can speak clearly, and I know my way around the laws of grammar, but I’m sorely lacking in the lyrical style of writing I’m so very fond of. Basically, I suck at metaphors, and making things sound amazing. Think Circa Survive here, or Modest Mouse a la songs like Parting of the Sensory, 3rd Planet, Little Motel. I’d love to have that ability, and I just don’t. Maybe it’s somewhere inside of me, maybe it’s somewhere inside all of us (that have a decent vocabulary), but it just won’t come out. I mean I haven’t really tried. I’m kind of scared of what might come through my fingers if I sat in the dark in silence, closed my eyes, and typed what I was thinking. I spent my entire freshman year thinking deeply about things and being sad about the state of the world, and the bittersweet essence of existing day to day. There’s something just so sad about it. But I spent so much time moping over the fact that we are fragile creatures, and the world that we live in is unstable and fractured, I was always dark all of the time. I guess after going through that year, I realized I wanted to cut that part out of my personality, and have kept those thoughts at bay, deep down in my subconscious, and every time they tried to surface I would shut them out immediately, so as to not go through what I went through again. I don’t want to be sad. I’ve accepted things for the way they are, but that’s not to say that I’m necessarily okay with .. not being permanent. Sure, we get second chances sometimes, but how can we know that the paths we’re choosing to go down in this fleeting life are going to make us happy at the end of it? Which is part of the beauty, but it’s also part of the heartbreak.

I went off on a tangent there, and for that I apologize. That’s the deepest I’ve looked into my mind in a long time, and that’s as far as it’s going for now. Though I think in the near future I will be delving a little bit deeper and deeper, and exploring that dark area with a newfound confidence and sense of adventure. Incredible things materialize from our thoughts, and we should not waste the things we can come up with because we are too scared to face them. I’m fairly certain now that I can mentally handle anything that may come from the blackest horizons of the wide expanse that is my mind, and look forward to finding out what’s really there. I spent too much time being scared of myself, and I think that many people do as well. Maybe this is, after all, the outlet I’ve been looking for. Maybe keeping up with this will spark new ideas and fresh outcomes. All I know is, I’m ready to find out.

I think I’ll dabble in watercolor for a bit tomorrow. I liked the result when I last played around with them for one of my visual literacy projects. I also need to get back on top of my guitar practicing. The acoustic I bought this past March is pretty rough on my fingers, and makes them a bit sore, but a good sore. Kind of like a fresh-from-a-workout sore. A proud of yourself sore. And I’m totally up for that. In fact, why wait? Maybe I’ll pick it up now.

Cheers.

onward.

krista — Mon, 19 May 2008 07:41:58 +0000

My, my, my, it’s been quite a while. Now that spring’s in full bloom and summer’s steadily approaching, I’ll have plenty more time on my hands to write. About what, I’ve not a clue. What I do know is that I’ve been extra thoughtful lately, but lacking the ability to express exactly what I’m thinking. They’re not so much thoughts as feelings I guess. And the reason they’re pent up in my head is because there really aren’t words that exist in this language that describe what I feel, nor am I trying to express a particular mood. It’s all kind of blah. Apathetic, indifferent, empty? Not depressing. I kind of feel like I’m missing something, some sort of secret to the core of life that everyone else is in on and that has somehow escaped me.

Regardless, I’ve got plenty of things to do in the coming weeks. I really need to get on top of my life. That means finally getting my license, getting together my application for Brainco, organizing my finances, and keeping up with the hobbies I took up and don’t currently do anything productive with (see: guitar/blogging/vlogging/tennis/gym/ART).

In other news, my very close friend Jun, who resides in Buffalo for the time being (college), was back in Brooklyn these past couple of weeks, and that’s been really good for me. It’s sort of the type of friendship where you don’t speak often, but if you ever need to the other is there, and when you meet again, it’s as though nothing ever changed. It’s just so drama-free, and he’s a genuine person, and it’s a genuine friendship. He made me realize the first day we met up that I am supposed to be out in the world doing different things, not stuck in a basement in Bay Ridge, coasting instead of soaring. As much as I think I’m mature and have grown into who I’m supposed to be, the point of the matter is that I have reached my peak at this location at this point in my life, and there’s nothing left for me to encounter here. By leaving, I’m opening myself up to new experiences, new problems, new times, which will only add to my character. And I’m totally ready for it.

Completely unrelated, but I’d also like to start setting up the sort of thing where I post what I’m working on, or things that I’ve been into lately. Any art that I do, or have done, albums I can’t get enough of, that sort of thing. Maybe review some movies/shows/books/music, who knows? The possibilities are endless. I’m stoked for what Jesse Johnson (of Motion City Soundtrack) is conjuring up over at www.fiftyfiftylimited.com, and it’s put me in a very creative mood. Check it out. Big things are happening.

Alrighty. I sense that I’m running out of things to talk about. Stay tuned for more updates in the near future.

P.S. I neglected to mention that I recently got a response from the first e-mail I’ve written to Justin (of Motion City Soundtrack). I’m still beaming. It was a really great, thought-out response, and I’m happy that I was lucky enough to have gotten one. I am forever grateful to every one of those guys for being as cool with their fans as they are. I know most bands understand they wouldn’t be anywhere without their fans, but MCS goes above and beyond to make personal connections with us, and it’s really admirable that they care as much as they do. Here’s to the boys, for making life a little bit easier for me without even knowing it.